Current obsessions: the McElroys/TAZ, Welcome to Night Vale, assorted vidja games, my idiot cat son, my husband (@corvowiz) đź’• also, if you think outing anyone for any reason is okay, unfollow me right now
Worst part about this is I’ve only ever used that yellow square emoji once and it was just to see how it looked. This isn’t who I am. However, in retrospect, I suppose it is
Reading through the notes is a surreal experience please keep adding more to fuel my effervescent consumption of non descriptive emojis
reblog and share things to do on the internet with a room full of friends
i play a game called “So You’ve Got This Special Guy” in which i go on etsy and look up something like “gifts for him” or “gifts for boyfriend” or whatever and find whatever deranged shit etsy recommends buying for a man knowing only that he is a man.
i then interrupt my friends who are probably having a better conversation with “so, you’ve got this special guy, right?” and when they agree that they do, i describe the exact guy that would want that sort of thing. (“and your special guy, he goes to bed, and he doesn’t have a place to put the things he has in his jean pockets which he wears to bed, which is, of course, his phone, an eiffel tower keyring with no keys on it, one (1) ring, a bullet vibrator or something, his canadian money clip with american change, both his watches, and his fucking gun, right? he has all those things and needs all of them at the ready in the dead of night right next to his head, because he’s too busy being the best dad to put his gun in a safe or whatever?”)
i then cap it off with “well, do i have the gift for you!” and show them an image like this
hours of fun for me and hours of “jesus christ bert can we do something else” for my buds
two things:
1) great bit, love the bit, you should be proud of the bit
2) I think that’s a case for offbrand earpods, but assuming it’s a bullet vibe makes for a much richer special guy experience, I feel
listen, i am here to provide 2 things to my closest buds- amazing bits and the specialest guys i can possibly muster. if that means i forget that airpods are a thing and assume that Daddy Gunfucker has a bullet vibe in his everyday carry just in case, that’s just what it takes
Hello welcome my ADHD themed gameshow, “So you were holding it literally moments ago but now it’s gone” the where YOU look for whatever you were just holding while going increasingly mad
